How To Show Your Cat You Love Them

This is the most complete guide on how to tell your beloved cats you love them. In this guide you'll learn everything you need to know about showing love to your cats in a few easy steps.

It is important to understand that cats and humans don't always speak the same language. Sometimes trying to show our love the wrong way we end up actually harming them. That said, you need to understand how to tell your cats you love them in their own language!

how to show your cat you love them

The question is: how can I express my love the best way? and How can you tell if your cat knows how much you love her? Thankfully, there are several ways to show them love and understand them and that’s where this definitive guide comes into play.

1. Blink Slowly and Gaze Lovingly Into Her Eyes

It is good to know that cats' slow eye blinks at each other and at their humans when they're feeling relaxed and loving.

cat slow blink

If you slow eye blinks back at your cat, she'll understand the feline gesture as love. The best way to do that is by getting on her level, meeting her gaze, and slowly blinking back at her. Kitty will know exactly what you are trying to say.

However, avoid prolonged eye-contact with your cat. While polite in conversations between people, many cats find extended eye contact threatening.

2. Use Interactive Toys to Play with Her

It’s no secret that cats are predators, but if they’re house cats, they often don't get to use those instincts as much as they need to.

Play is essential for indoor cats to make sure they use up the energy they'd normally use for patrolling their territory and hunting prey. It's also important to know that indoor cats might need a longer playtime or a couple of play sessions spread across the day.

Spend at least 10 minutes a day playing with your cat using a toy.

3. Give Her Comfortable Beds and Plenty of Them

There are many good reasons why buying a (comfortable) bed is important for your kitty.

cat bed

One good reason to purchase a bed for your cat is to encourage them to mostly sleep in one place, which can prove beneficial for both of you.

By gifting your cat a nice bed you will show her your affection in a very clear way. Many cats like to be up high, so consider a tall cat tree with a roomy bed on top.

That way, your cat can get above her territory and survey it.

4. Provide Great Cat Scratching Posts

cat scratching post

Consider investing in high-quality scratching posts Cats are naturally inclined to scratch surfaces in your home, such as furniture. But they can be trained to scratch specific objects, particularly posts fitted with rough surfaces such as dense carpet or sisal. Sisal fabric is a great cat scratching substrate, and when it's wrapped around a tall, sturdy post, it's cat scratching heaven.

Keep in mind that cats need to scratch to stay emotionally and physically healthy.

5. Give Her a Hiding Spot

Cats like to hide, watching things from the safety of an enclosed space. Why do cats love hiding?

When a cat finds a good hiding spot, they feel safe and more comfortable than being out in the open. But be careful, don't give them too many hiding spots! If using a bedroom, you may need to block off access under the bed.

While hiding spots help a fearful cat to feel safe, we need them to be open enough so that we can reach in and socialize with the cat, even when they're hiding.

6. Snuggle Her

Oh yess snuggle her!

snuggle your cat

Not all cats like to cuddle, but those that do will be over the moon when you make time for snuggling daily. Here are 6 great steps you can take to make sure the kitty returns your affection.

  1. Gracious and Gentle: kittens and senior cats especially have fragile bones and should be handled with extra doses of TLC. Pretend your hands are wrapped in fluffy mohair mitts, petting the dandelion-downy texture of a baby chick.
  2. Practice With The Plush: get your hands accustomed to a gentle stroking motion by practicing on a plush stuffed toy. Patting a fave teddy bear or stuffed kitty will get you in the right touch-mode for cuddling your feline friend.
  3. Cuddle Up: support a kitten like a newborn baby, holding his head and bottom with gentle hands, stroking his tummy with a single finger, or right-side up, cradling his belly and hindquarters, never squeezing or clutching.
  4. Belly rub: most cats adore having their bellies rubbed while they’re resting on their backs, paws in the air. Go for an end-to-end motion, pausing occasionally to rub your fingertips in a small circular route near the tummy’s middle section.
  5. Back Stroke: stroking a finger along your cat’s backbone may bring her to attention as she arches in pleasure to grab more of that good cuddly feel. Great for the grooming groove, working your hands along her back gives a cat an all-over relaxation reflex, just like a backrub does for humans. Most cats bliss out during a back-patting session, but some sensitive kitties set their own time limits, feeling too overstimulated to fully relax.
  6. Don’t Fumble That Feline!: Never grasp your cat as if she’s a football. You’re not a running back and she’s not an NFL official product. If you’re tempted to tuck Kitty under your arm and head for the sofa, remember that all cats dislike being grabbed tightly around the middle and pulled too close. Fussy cats who don’t like being handled will go stiff with dislike, imitating a large turtle and protesting with their version of a 15-yard penalty, claws included.

Is it bad to force your cat to cuddle?

Veterinarian Wendy Hauser told Insider that pet owners should never force a cat to socialize or cuddle when they are not in the mood. "Cat owners should not force attention on cats. Though cats enjoy human attention, they like it in smaller doses than dogs, and on their own terms”.

7. Cat Communication

It is important to try talking to your cat in their language.

Try turning to the side rather than directly facing the cat, avoiding prolonged eye contact and making yourself smaller by sitting or kneeling down. Avoid reaching out to a pet or bending over the top of a cat to say hi.

If a cat wants to investigate, try reaching out your hand or an object with your smell on it.

Do this and your cat will instantly feel loved.

8. Cat Grooming

Brushing your cat not only removes dirt, grease and dead hair from her coat, but it helps to remove skin flakes and stimulates blood circulation, improving the overall condition of her skin.

cat grooming

While licking your cat would be a great way to show your mutual love, you’re likely to end up with hairballs! Instead, try a warm damp cloth and run it along your kitty’s head and back.

The sensation is reminiscent of the maternal grooming your cat received as a kitten. Gentle brushing works, too as long as the coat is healthy and mat-free.

9. Don’t Skip The Vet!

Okay, so your cat may not interpret a trip to the vet as a sign of affection, but she won’t hold it against you either! And even though going to the vet is probably not your cat’s favorite thing to do, it is paws down one of the best ways you can show you care.

Cats are masters at hiding signs of sickness and discomfort. Without regular visits to the vet, you could miss an important chance to diagnose and treat small health issues before they become big ones.

Say “I love you” to your cat by taking care of her health so that she can enjoy a long, happy life with her favorite human!

10. Take A Cat Nap

take a cat nap

Another great way to express your love is by taking a catnap. A cat who loves and trusts you will be completely comfortable sleeping around you.

They're more likely to see you as a protector if they can feel safe when they're at their most vulnerable near you. You don't always have to share your bed with your kitty, but if you're curling up on the couch for some Netflix, curl up with your cat and catch some z's.

Your feline will feel the love knowing that you both trust each other.

11. Be Available for Your Cat

Many dogs tend to react to any opportunity for attention by running, yelping, and slobbering in appreciation. Cats are more likely to want to dictate the times and terms of affection, although they may want some prodding from you from time to time.

  • It's hard to show affection if you are never around, so be a present cat parent when possible.
  • Talk to your cat when you're spending time together. Whether your cat can actually learn to recognize any of your words or not, the act of talking provides an opportunity for interaction that can be reciprocated in the feline's preferred manner.
  • If your cat has to spend long stretches of time alone, play with your cat before you go out, and provide an environment where the cat can entertain himself, such as having toys available, and a high perch where he can watch what's going on outside. 

12. Watch for signs of trust

A cat can display affection-via-vulnerability by stretching out and exposing its stomach and underside to you.

cat signs of trust

Be aware, however, that many cats may expose their stomachs without actually wanting you to pet them there. Watch for signs of interest in being petted, or gently stroke the cat's belly and see if you get away without being scratched and/or bitten.

Here again, sometimes the best way to show affection to a cat is to let them show you affection and to accept it graciously.

13. Provide your cat with personal space

Cats need to be in control of their personal space. Giving your cat enough personal space will help it feel secure, and may positively influence its social interactions with humans and other animals.

Respecting her spaces makes your kitty feel loved.

14. When picking up your cat, go down to its level first.

Slowly bend down before lifting your cat into the air. If a cat can see you before you pick it up, it is less likely to be frightened.

15. Try Some Training

Contrary to what some people think, cats are very trainable. In fact, they're probably bored when they go for a long time without mental stimulation. You can relieve that boredom by teaching them some new tricks.

cat training

Training will allow you to strengthen your bond and your understanding with your cat and will also allow you to reward your kitty for a job well done.

Your rewards will help your cat see you as a provider, and they'll know that they can count on you. This will help build your relationship, and before long, your cat will be feeling all the love.


I hope this guide showed you how to show your cat you love them.

Now I’d like to turn it over to you:

What’s the #1 tip from this post that you want to try first? Are you going to giving her hiding spots? Or maybe you’re going to blink slowly and gaze lovingly into her eyes.

Or maybe you have a question about something you read.

Either way, let me know by leaving a comment below right now.

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